Me & my giant turds.

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They're so stubborn, regardless of how many times you flush. They hurt like hell while pushing the bastards out, on a couple of occasions iv had to practically stand up, the length of them is immense, they must start up in my chest. I have an appetite like a wee bird so I should have little dainty wainty shits. Do I search the garden for sticks to force the bastards down. I'm well aware that the most obvious thing to do is pour down extra water while flushing, I once decided to use the kettle forgetting that it had recently boiled earlier that morning. If there is a women out there wishing to marry me I can't be pickey.