Guest JackoTC Posted August 10, 2014 Report Share Posted August 10, 2014 Is he having lots of sex and cant be bothered with us now ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JackoTC Posted August 10, 2014 Report Share Posted August 10, 2014 He's at work. Having sex ? Or cleaning the bogs ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 10, 2014 Report Share Posted August 10, 2014 He's having a struggle. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ducunti Posted August 11, 2014 Report Share Posted August 11, 2014 That lazy fucker at work read all his posts about him and ran him over with a fork lift truck at playtime last thursday. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applescruff14 Posted August 11, 2014 Report Share Posted August 11, 2014 I am back, trying to get a woman on a dating site but it is difficult. There is something about her I like, if it doesn't happen then the consolation is that comparing her to the woman I really want is like comparing Rolf Harris to Rembrandt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applescruff14 Posted August 11, 2014 Report Share Posted August 11, 2014 Is he having lots of sex and cant be bothered with us now ? No chance of that, at work or doing housework here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JackoTC Posted August 11, 2014 Report Share Posted August 11, 2014 I am back, trying to get a woman on a dating site but it is difficult. There is something about her I like, if it doesn't happen then the consolation is that comparing her to the woman I really want is like comparing Rolf Harris to Rembrandt. Welcome back. Thought you had left us. I was just thinking back to your tradesman days ....... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applescruff14 Posted August 11, 2014 Report Share Posted August 11, 2014 Welcome back. Thought you had left us. I was just thinking back to your tradesman days ....... Not after 8 years, that Beatles song 'I've Just Seen A Face' is looming large at the moment but probably on the verge of ending. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Snatch Posted August 11, 2014 Report Share Posted August 11, 2014 This is all very well but i miss the old site. I'll get used to it I suppose. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applescruff14 Posted August 11, 2014 Report Share Posted August 11, 2014 I don't care what they say I won't stay in a world without love. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuntybaws Posted August 11, 2014 Report Share Posted August 11, 2014 I don't care what they say I won't stay in a world without love. I can't wait until applescruff69 arrives. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ducunti Posted August 11, 2014 Report Share Posted August 11, 2014 I don't care what they say I won't stay in a world without love.Should have published that one apple it might have gone gold. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cuntspotter Posted August 11, 2014 Report Share Posted August 11, 2014 Is he having lots of sex and cant be bothered with us now ? Sex....sex.... Isn't this something that people from the Home Counties have their coal delivered in? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applescruff14 Posted August 11, 2014 Report Share Posted August 11, 2014 Wecome back Apple, no cricket thread yet, but i have a feeling one will be coming, meanwhile, good to see England go 2-1 up against India. Did it without Broad as well in the second innings, Ali seems to be a good replacement for Swann. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applescruff14 Posted August 11, 2014 Report Share Posted August 11, 2014 Should have published that one apple it might have gone gold. The Peter & Gordon version is good, it's easy to tell Paul has written that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 11, 2014 Report Share Posted August 11, 2014 Truthfully now we are back on the old format the question should have been "Where The Fuck Is Gibson?". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JackoTC Posted August 11, 2014 Report Share Posted August 11, 2014 Are you the real applescruff, or ersatz? It would be quite easy to hijack your style, even a useless lard arse like BronyKeith could do it. Apple or Brony ? ...... would be like comparing Rolf Harris to Rembrandt Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted August 12, 2014 Report Share Posted August 12, 2014 And now a poem. I used to love English cricket with a passion unsurpassed But their defensive fucking tactics They can shove right up their arse In the halcyon days we had Jack Hobbs, Then Botham and Flintoff, Now our keeper is a poofter And our Captain is a toff We got rolled by fucking convicts in the ashes just last year Coz our captain is a wanker and our keeper's still a queer. We need the likes of Goughie, Lionhearted strong and true Instead our captain is a girls blouse And our keeper's balls deep in poo. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applescruff14 Posted August 12, 2014 Report Share Posted August 12, 2014 Are you the real applescruff, or ersatz? It would be quite easy to hijack your style, even a useless lard arse like BronyKeith could do it. Yes I am. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applescruff14 Posted August 12, 2014 Report Share Posted August 12, 2014 I can't wait until applescruff69 arrives. That wont be happening, my love life is in a crisis. It just isn't happening. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rev Posted August 12, 2014 Report Share Posted August 12, 2014 I am back, trying to get a woman on a dating site but it is difficult. There is something about her I like, if it doesn't happen then the consolation is that comparing her to the woman I really want is like comparing Rolf Harris to Rembrandt. Whip out the old fella, apple and start sketching a rough outline of a bearded kangaroo with pre-cum on her thigh, then ask her if she can guess what it is yet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applescruff14 Posted August 12, 2014 Report Share Posted August 12, 2014 Whip out the old fella, apple and start sketching a rough outline of a bearded kangaroo with pre-cum on her thigh, then ask her if she can guess what it is yet. It doesn't matter what I try it just isn't happening, it's like England v Germany, a hoodoo that won't lift. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applescruff14 Posted August 12, 2014 Report Share Posted August 12, 2014 And now a poem. I used to love English cricket with a passion unsurpassed But their defensive fucking tactics They can shove right up their arse In the halcyon days we had Jack Hobbs, Then Botham and Flintoff, Now our keeper is a poofter And our Captain is a toff We got rolled by fucking convicts in the ashes just last year Coz our captain is a wanker and our keeper's still a queer. We need the likes of Goughie, Lionhearted strong and true Instead our captain is a girls blouse And our keeper's balls deep in poo. Are you actually posting from Down Under? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest ducunti Posted August 12, 2014 Report Share Posted August 12, 2014 I am back, trying to get a woman on a dating site but it is difficult. There is something about her I like, if it doesn't happen then the consolation is that comparing her to the woman I really want is like comparing Rolf Harris to Rembrandt.I now see the problem, its not easy to find a kiddie fiddling woman with a beard and glasses. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applescruff14 Posted August 12, 2014 Report Share Posted August 12, 2014 I now see the problem, its not easy to find a kiddie fiddling woman with a beard and glasses. In all seriousness that woman I am trying to lure on the dating site I might as well just accept the fact I am clutching at straws, it is never going to happen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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