Eye Openers

[CCArchive]

Sticking with this evenings anal theme I would like to nominate eye openers as a cunt and a half. I know what it's like. You've had an epic session and any memories you may have of your sparkling wit and repartee has disappeared in a fog of piss stained trainers and a mist of semi-digested kebab meet. So you decide to fall back on an old favourite- the moonie. Nothing wrong with that. It's a classic British gag, old school. Not as good as,"Don't mention the war." Or "Don't tell him Pike", let alone' "...at least that's what she tells me when she comes home with her hair matted in spunk." If you are of a mind to drop your kecks, do us all a favour, don't part your arse cheeks. Nobody wants to see the gates to Clay Lane. To any one tempted to produce an eye opener I offer you this cautionary tale. Several years ago 7 of us attended the Munich Oktoberfest. Two of the lads were busy crossing swords and having a piss fight when we were approached by a bloke who turned out to be a Canadian. "You guys English?" "How do you know? "Oh you can tell." He replied, nodding towards the two gentlemen urinating on each other. A couple of hours later a spectacularly pissed cunt clambered on the table behind us and proceeded to give thousands of piss pots and uninterrupted view of his shit chute. Mid sentence and without missing a beat, our new Canadian friend turned around,hockled and launched a mucus addled gob. It hit the cunt right on his knotted balloon. It then splatterd down the back of his leg in a long string of saliva and snot. "Now I'm English too!" Declared the by now heavily pissed Canuck. We were still laughing at the cunt long after the ambulance crew had carted him off with an oxygen mask strapped to his bleeding face. The moral is clear. A moonie can lead to laughter, an eye opener to drunken violence.