Digital Patronisation

[CCArchive]

This is of course those digital smileys attached to motion detectors. Drive past them at less than 30MPH and you get your speed flashed up followed by a patronising "smiley" face. Do more than thirty and you get the same but with the emoticon now flashing angry disapproval at you. I set one off the other day and was surprised at getting the "angry man" from it. My old Toyota Estima is a bit of a plodder and if you don't concentrate on what you are doing you end up dawdling along at about 7MPH. Great for avoiding speed traps but equally good at building up a line of irate motorists behind you. Despite this though, I had pissed of the digital finger wagger and was getting the scowl and my totally lawless speed of 32MPH flashed angrily at me. My response was a quick mirror check and stamp on the accelerator. I was now doing a magnificent 36MPH and blasted past the scowling bastard whilst smiling to myself and thinking of judgecock. Of course, I got away scot free. Fuck Judgecock and fuck Tom Daley.