John O'Groats

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One of those places that everybody has heard of but very few people have been to. Well why would you? Despite what people tell you it is not the most northerly point of Britain. You have to go a few miles along the coast to find a place called Dunnet Head which is just a fucking car park. Like John it is a bleak windswept headland but John has the delights of about half a dozen shops selling "souvenirs of Scotland". These are cheap Chinese produced tat with a bit of tartan stuck to them and a 400% mark up. Nice. They also have a nice bog but the tight Jocks charge you 20p for a piss , the cunts.As you approach this boring knobend your sat-nav goes fucking mental. It has come to the end of the world as we know it and it tries to direct you into peoples' gardens and keeps saying "re-calculating" over and over again. But there is one good thing about this place--Lady P. has never been there! Yes , that's right, the magic Torquay broomstick refuses to fly beyond Carlisle. Lucky old Scotland.