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Free range eggs


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Many say caged eggs are bad, implying I'm an unspeakable cunt for buying them. They're cheep, and someone's got to eat them. If I was locked in a cage for my life, I'd spend it shitting, wanking and calling the guy next door a cunt.happy days

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Chickens cheep pal, some things just go over some people's heads. I try. Sell by dates are only half the story, I suggest you read up on the floating egg, sinking egg theory, and change your ways accordingly. 

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Guest DingTheRioja

I use the water technique.... a sell-by-date is normally 3-4 weeks, however the eggs may have been around for 3-4 weeks before they stamp them in some suppliers.. and the rules allow this....

 

..and anything that says Free Range is a lying cunt... 90-95% (or thereabouts) of "free range" hens don't go out of the barn..

Once they are first put in the barn with 20,000 other hens, if they haven't ventured out of the barn within about 4 days, they never will, ever, those that venture out will continue to go out and roam about, these are the "free range" hens, the rest are "barn hens".... good luck in picking the right half-dozen...!!

 

Try reading up on the laws/rules regarding what can be considered free range, it's a total fucking con...

 

Find a farmer or producer nearby, go look, he won't mind you looking if you buy the eggs, when you've found a decent supplier.. PAY WHAT THE FUCK HE ASKS AND BE HAPPY!!

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I use the water technique.... a sell-by-date is normally 3-4 weeks, however the eggs may have been around for 3-4 weeks before they stamp them in some suppliers.. and the rules allow this....

 

..and anything that says Free Range is a lying cunt... 90-95% (or thereabouts) of "free range" hens don't go out of the barn..

Once they are first put in the barn with 20,000 other hens, if they haven't ventured out of the barn within about 4 days, they never will, ever, those that venture out will continue to go out and roam about, these are the "free range" hens, the rest are "barn hens".... good luck in picking the right half-dozen...!!

 

Try reading up on the laws/rules regarding what can be considered free range, it's a total fucking con...

 

Find a farmer or producer nearby, go look, he won't mind you looking if you buy the eggs, when you've found a decent supplier.. PAY WHAT THE FUCK HE ASKS AND BE HAPPY!!

​Fucking right on!

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I use the water technique.... a sell-by-date is normally 3-4 weeks, however the eggs may have been around for 3-4 weeks before they stamp them in some suppliers.. and the rules allow this....

 

..and anything that says Free Range is a lying cunt... 90-95% (or thereabouts) of "free range" hens don't go out of the barn..

Once they are first put in the barn with 20,000 other hens, if they haven't ventured out of the barn within about 4 days, they never will, ever, those that venture out will continue to go out and roam about, these are the "free range" hens, the rest are "barn hens".... good luck in picking the right half-dozen...!!

 

Try reading up on the laws/rules regarding what can be considered free range, it's a total fucking con...

 

Find a farmer or producer nearby, go look, he won't mind you looking if you buy the eggs, when you've found a decent supplier.. PAY WHAT THE FUCK HE ASKS AND BE HAPPY!!

​And another thing - the government decided that in order for 'free range ' suppliers to hold on to that claim, during the bird flu debacle, all birds were kept indoors for months and allowed to be called free range.  What a con.  I buy locally from a farm near me.

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Guest Gong Farmer

I bought some duck eggs from a farm shop last year where the cunt farmer was selling them with nearly fully formed ducks in them. I took them back to the farm shop and put more than a few fucks into the cunt. The fucking animal knew damn fucking well that the ducklings were about to hatch but was flogging them anyway. 

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Guest Gong Farmer

@gong... you do know that ducks have no internal filter?  You eat whatever shit they eat..?

​The ducks I've eaten must be eating some tasty shit then as they've all been delicious, expect for some rubbish I was served up in Germany some years back as it must have been fed a diet of cardboard boxes and EverReady batteries. 

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Guest DingTheRioja

​The ducks I've eaten must be eating some tasty shit then as they've all been delicious, expect for some rubbish I was served up in Germany some years back as it must have been fed a diet of cardboard boxes and EverReady batteries. 

If I was you, I'd be mor worried about the microbiotic shit you cant taste...  :wacko:

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Guest Gong Farmer

If I was you, I'd be mor worried about the microbiotic shit you cant taste...  :wacko:

​I'm still alive and kicking so to date no harm done and I've got guts of steel. 

Edited by Gong Farmer
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I keep chickens.

 

When the Dystopian Future comes crashing down it'll just be me, my four chickens, a shedload of eggs ........and Brony banging on my door desperate to try and fuck one of my Rhode Island Reds.

 

.......but I'll not let him.

 

​So.. there's no Mrs Cock then?

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​Unfortunately she gnawed off one of her legs and the duct tape and hopped over the compound wire one night when the tower guards were drunk, never to be seen again - so no there isn't I'm afraid.

​Well her loss is the Corners gain, you are one of the more intelligent posters on here, but then again, I'm a flirt.

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Guest nobgobbler

​You should have reported the cunt to health n safety, he'd have got sued and banned from selling, when selling eggs they have to keep male and female separate so that this doesn't happen. Or just kick the cunts head in.

 

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Guest Ahriman

Chickens cheep pal, some things just go over some people's heads. I try. Sell by dates are only half the story, I suggest you read up on the floating egg, sinking egg theory, and change your ways accordingly. 

​I personally tend to be a firm advocate of the 'If I haven't died of food poisoning everything's cushty theory myself'.

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Guest DingTheRioja

​I personally tend to be a firm advocate of the 'If I haven't died of food poisoning everything's cushty theory myself'.

​Yep, I keep telling Mrs D, "...it won't kill you..."...

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